Wrap up

I've really enjoyed being a conversation circle facilitator this past semester, as well as reading about and discussing different aspects of language learning and cultural identity in class.  Meeting with my group of international students as well as Isabella each week has been a great experience.  I feel like I have learned a lot, both about China and South Korea and about what it's like to be an international student at the University of Michigan (and what it's like in particular to be a computer science student as well, since coursework for that major was also a frequent topic!).  One of the things that I liked the most though was that I didn't even really think of it as a conversation circle or an international student group by the end, it was just an hour every week when I got to hang out with nice people and somehow get class credit for it.  While we would sometimes discuss directly cultural differences between the US and their home countries, or talk about things like internet censorship, it was almost better when those topics came up as part of a conversation about something else we all had in common, like the movie Cinderella, or the days when we played card games.  One of my favorite times was when they taught us a popular Chinese card game this past week, with a name that goes something along the lines of "Defeat the landlord." Three people can play at a time, and each round one person is the landlord and the other two are peasants who work to together to defeat the landlord.  The names of the different types of cards you can play range from the common card hands (pair, triple, straight) to those distinctly related to the figurative setup of the game (bomb, rocket).  It was really fun to play and had similar rules to some other games I've played before, but the concept is so interesting to consider and think about (there would never be a card game in the US where the goal is to defeat the landlord- we have Monopoly and Life instead where the goal is to get rich!).  So moments like those were my favorite, where we were just having a lot of fun but also got to notice some cultural differences and often would then laugh about them together.  I'm definitely going to miss my group and hope to see some of them again in the future!

I'm looking forward to working as a conversation circle facilitator again next year, and hope that I can continue to reach out to the international student population on campus in other ways as well.  I'd like to continue learning more about other countries and cultures as well as meeting new people (and learning more new card games!).

Conversation Circle Visit

Friday I finally had the opportunity to join Irish's conversation circle, and I had a wonderful time.  There were two girls there, and they were both very chatty and sweet.  We went through a series of questions Irish had prepared about education, teaching, classes, and discussed some of the differences in the way education is viewed in the US and in South Korea and the Philippines.  One of the biggest differences was in the way that extracurriculars- sports, music, art, etc- are viewed.  The girls said that in South Korea, parents are strictly interested in having their children study academic subjects, especially math and science (and English from a young age).  They don't see value in arts or music because they don't tend to lead to very lucrative careers (we were all speaking in broad generalizations of course).  In the US on the other hand, there is much more emphasis on being a well-rounded person- someone who only does all academics, all the time is almost seen as being incomplete or strange.  I think some of this is due to a genuine respect for and interest in having a wide range of interests and activities and appreciation for the arts and physical fitness, but some of it is also due to the way our education systems are set up.  Even for parents who are strictly interested in ensuring that their child ends up with a lucrative and successful career, there is a strong incentive for them to engage their children in all kinds of extracurriculars as a way to get to the best college or university.  Both girls agreed that they prefer the American interest in extracurriculars to the strict focus on academics that they grew up with.  Overall it was a good meeting and I really enjoyed getting to meet both of them!

Blog 5: What did I learn so far?

Time is really elusive. In a blink, it's already April. After the crazy winter chills, here comes the unexpectedly windy Spring. The weather here in Ann Arbor is really unpredictable; likewise, the events that occurred to me when I chose to audit this class and became, for the first time, a conversation circle facilitator. The whole experience has truly been life-changing!

What were my hesitations/questions before? What surprised me so far?

a. Hesitation/Question (Before the start of this course): Should I always talk in the circle? Or should I take more the 'Interviewer' role?

What I learned?

People love talking about themselves. So try to think of ways that will encourage the participants to talk more about their interests, their views, and their feelings. And when they are talking, LISTEN INTENTLY. Listen as a friend, not as a conversation leader. For sure, these International students, who may be here for the first time, who may or may not have enough friends, will appreciate someone whom they think will be able to GENUINELY listen to them. And once you find them opening up about themselves, that's when you realize that it is easier to talk about stuff - from silly to nerdy topics.

b. Hesitation/Question (Before the start of this course): I am a non-native speaker of English, myself. Should I fear that they underestimate me (my accent, etc.)?

What did I learn?

To be an effective conversation circle facilitator, one does not need to be a native speaker of English. One important thing I realized from this experience is that an effective facilitator is one who empathizes well with the participants - one who listens, one who understands because he listened, and one who cares because he understood.

c. Hesitation/Question (Before the start of this course): If I talk about cultural differences (i.e. American culture versus Asian culture), would I launch issues that would be very offensive?

What did I learn?

Culture is a VERY interesting topic for any discussion. In fact, I found that when you brought up a single topic - table manners, customer service, greetings, ways of cooking, and the like - people love to compare and contrast. And when the contrast is so apparent, that's when the conversation gets too intense. Some minor disagreements may get in the way, but that's where the beauty of conversation is!

Before, I was so worried about bringing up cultural topics. But now, I learned that culture is so ingrained in people, so bank on that. They love to talk about what they are practicing and they love to compare the practices they are accustomed to having and do to people who do things differently.

I know that in the next few weeks, I will still be learning a lot from this unique journey as a conversation facilitator, and I am looking forward to every lesson I can bring home to.

In Conclusion

My conversation circle group has been changing constantly over the course of the semester. In the beginning, I would have different groups of people each week, and at first I found it frustrating, because I didn't feel like we were forming a group bond. But the past couple of weeks, I have really gotten to know one of my participants, who has been fairly consistent in coming. And I would consider that a success. We have had such interesting conversations (including about the use of the word interesting - and in this case I truly mean interesting) about so many different things. Some of my favorites are comparing our different backgrounds, as she is from China. I have learned so many different things about China, but also that it's hard to generalize about an entire country. I have mostly learned so many things about her as a person. And I truly cherish that opportunity through this conversation circle.

If I had to do it again, I think I would try to stress how important attendance is in the beginning, even though I think I tried to do that. But I would definitely emphasize the importance of letting me know if you can't be there, because people often would not do so. I am also torn on including more activities. I think it would have been great to do something like Emily's group with book-binding (that sounds so cool!) and a good bonding experience. But on the other hand I do like the opportunity to just sit down, take a break, and have a good conversation with people and hear about their weeks and any other things that they want to talk about. I think their group is a great example, because they had both!

As a facilitator, I learned how to be a better listener. I have learned about subtle things that occur in conversation that I usually am not aware of, but as a result of this class I now notice more often - the amount of time it takes for a silence to become "awkward", who starts the conversation, the types of things you ask in a conversation, your responses to someone and how they may perceive them and also how that might be different than what you intend. I will think of this experience when working with international students in the future, hopefully in the field of education! I truly learned so much from them and for that I am grateful.